Tiptoeing across the warm wooden floor, I drop my wrap on the armchair and slip through the door into the balmy night.
Although it is late, almost midnight, the stars are behind time and the sky is lavender streaked with deeper shades. It is so quiet that I feel as if I am the only person awake on the planet and it frees me.
Lighting the few candles that are set on the low table, I breath in deep. Lungfuls of soft night air as warm as day and perfumed by the stocks I’d sown earlier in the spring. I am glad now that I’d made myself plant them, I’d been mired in misery then, bogged down by memories that haunted me.
But not tonight, no. Tonight I am surrounded by pleasures and gentle caresses, by love and lust and absolute trust.
I know where I am, who I am and I’m happier for it.
And so is he. He always was, I just didn’t realise it. I was so caught up in tormenting myself, dissecting myself and in trying to please that I failed to notice that he saw through all of that.
He saw me.
And he liked it – me – from day one.
And he trusted that I’d find me. And that I’d like me too.
So tonight I am happy, while I wait for him to join me, so that we may watch the stars when they finally make their light known, through the light years it has taken for them to get here.
I feel his hand slip into mine and now it’s perfect. The perfect moment as the stars align.